Thursday, September 2, 2010

My Take on Zombies vs. Unicorns Part II

I want to respond to the Team Unicorn captain's response to my PSA about Killer Unicorns. As with the last one, my response started out as a comment and just grew until I had to make a post about it. Here is Misty's original response:

"Good for warning those who think they are cute and cuddly and all, but you just did a great deal in educating all the naysayers who *insist* that unicorns are nothing but glitter and rainbows. If you're choosing the Team Z side simply because you think unicorns are for p*ssies, think again!!!"

Many of the people who have declared themselves Team Unicorn seem to have done so because they are cute, cuddly, and good. I wanted to educate them on the dark side of unicorns. For those people that think unicorns are totally dangerous and badass, I would like to point out a few things for them. In Diana Peterfreund's novel Rampant (the ONLY series featuring killer unicorns), unicorns re-emerge after hundreds of years after they were thought to be extinct. However, it's barely noticed by people. When zombies rise up, it's a full blown apocalypse with the complete breakdown of society and government, leaving people to fend for themselves. During a unicorn re-emergence, a couple of people die, but it's attributed to animal attacks and life goes on as normal. There are an extremely limited number of unicorns, so their impact on humans is minimal at best.
This new image of ferocious unicorns also makes them seem schizophrenic and confused. When they are good, they are super sugar sweet and you get cavities just looking at them. When they're evil, they aren't very successful. Zombies, for the most part in zombie stories, are of the flesh eating variety and are widely known for their determination and dedication to eating human flesh. Why choose the lesser evil? Zombies are the greater and more competent destructive force.
Bottom line: Unicorns are confused and inept. Zombies will eat their faces.

** This post is for Velvet's September Zombies. **


Sullivan McPig said...

Hear, hear! Zombies can kick one horned goat butt any day!

Lexie said...

Well I guess Team Unicorn really feels a great need to find some way to justify your very educational PSA warning people away. Its a defense mechanism--they're weakening I'm willing to bet!

Misty said...

Weakening, eh?

Mary Ann said...

Mary D

Couldn't have said it better myself, Titania! Excellent post, BTW ... and as we both will agree, the truth hurts so one must allow that Team Unicorns may be feeling the pain.

Ah well, nothing that a proper measure of Zombie TLC won't cure lol

vvb32 reads said...

It all comes down to the bottom line. And there's a reason for the last unicorn right?

Giada M said...

I still believe that there are more unicorns than we think and they can be very devilish!

the epic rat said...

Zombies will totally eat the faces of unicorns...among other body parts. :}

Very persuasive argument on how zombies can easily outmatch unicorns :P