Tenebre (1982)

* spoilers *

Famous author Peter Neal goes to Rome to promote his newest murder mystery novel only to find someone has recreated the murders in real life down to the motivation. He receives a letter after each murder, but investigators have no idea who it might be. Could it be his vindictive and cheating fiancee or the man she's cheating with, Peter's own agent? Or could it be the man himself?

Tenebre is the best giallo film I've seen by far because the mystery aspect is so well handled. The complex story has many possibilities and different story lines that are all expertly handled and intertwined. Beyond the author, there are a number of suspicious people: his cheating fiancee, his lying agent, and book reviewer Christiano Berti. I had no idea who the killer was and it's a bit more complicated an answer than one might think. The murders reflect those in Neal's book, where the killer is digusted with sexually "aberrant" behavior such as promiscuity or homosexuality. The kills themselves are strikingly beautiful in their presentation, contrasting with the brutality of the act and the bigotry behind it. They are always shown from the point of view of the unknown killer. Throughout the film, another set of scenes from an unknown point of view are shown, in a different time and place than the murders. A man is humiliated by a beautiful woman and a pack of handsome, buff admirers. Later, the woman is killed horrifically in revenge.

Peter Neal is a successful author who seems like a nice person. As the film goes on, there are definite red flags going up. A female reporter who knows him personally questions him about the misogyny apparent in his book. He deflects by weakly arguing that they are friends and citing his support of the equal rights act. Instead of taking it as a critique of his work, he takes it as an attack on his character. This behavior is basically painting the reporter as the unreasonable aggressor, typical of bigoted people trying to deflect critique of their bigotry. Another red flag is when he and a friend investigate the murders on their own. Why would he do this, putting himself in harm's way, when he has no idea what he's doing? Peter is later shown to be the person from the flashbacks, showing that he is indeed a misogynist and a murderer. The flashbacks have a definite sexual nature in both the emasculating abuse towards him and in the murder he later commits. It shows that the bigotry and misogyny reflected in his novel is his own, an interesting plot point from Argento.

The themes and the world in the film give the film so much more depth than most giallo films. Metafiction is always something that draws me in when done well. Only small excerpts of the book are read on film, but the murders and situations tell its story, eerily reflected. The themes of his book are discussed thoroughly and make my inner book nerd happy. There are also numerous doubles throughout the film in almost every character, various objects, and situations in the background. Many scenes have characters directly reflecting each other. It foreshadows the ending and gives cohesion to the film. Even the world this story is set in isn't what you would expect. Instead of the recognizable parts of Rome, Argento opted to use the suburban areas with a twist. Some devastation has happened to kill a noticeable amount of people, especially in the homeless and low income populations. That's why crowds are sparse and most people shown are wealthy and well dressed. I wish this was talked about even in passing a little more explicitly in the film, but it's a unique alternate near future for sure.

Tenebre is my personal gold standard for giallo films with Torso close behind. You do have to get past the things typical to the subgenre that can be distracted such as overacting and bad dubbing. These things only bothered me in the beginning until the story drew me in. The complexity and depth of this film delighted me and are unlike any other film I've seen in the subgenre. Even the title refers to a Catholic prayers accompanied by the successive extinguishing of candles. It's not really mentioned in the film, but reflects the murders and the reason behind them. I'm more excited than ever to dive more into other giallo films and giallo influenced films.

My rating: 4.5/5 fishmuffins

Book Mini-Reviews: The Unfleshed: Tale of the Autopsic Bride by Lisa Vasquez and Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

* The Unfleshed: Tale of the Autopsic Bride by Lisa Vasquez

Angus is a sadistic but successful doctor completely obsessed with a wealthy woman named Morrigan. The Black Death spreads rapidly across Europe and threatens his love and his city as a whole. The Unfleshed is a novel that feels scattered and confused. I didn't know until late the book what era it was in and so much basic information about the time is wrong. Plague doctors were not trained doctors and were not effectual. The reigning theory was miasmatism that saw bad air as the cause of ailments. This wasn't even mentioned until very late in the book, which is weird since much of the novel is from the point of view of the doctor.

The main characters is Angus and all the other characters are flat and undeveloped compared to him. His driving force is to possess Morrigan and do all sorts of depraved things to her. I expected it to be more focused on Morrigan, the title character, who is not in the majority of the novel. She becomes a kind of Bride of Frankenstein amalgamation of other women because of Angus and barely makes a blip in the novel. Instead, Angus' history is delved into and his present as he tries to find a cure for death. He isn't the type of villain that can carry a novel because he's terribly unsympathetic and there are no redeeming qualities to him at all. I thought this would be much more of a horror novel overall and I was pretty disappointed.

My rating: 1.5/5 fishmuffins

* Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia's whole life changed when she was only 6. Her kingdom was invaded and taken over by conquerors who destroyed her people, her family, and her culture. The new regime keeps her around to abuse her when her people rebel and to publicly remind anyone what happens when they are opposed.

The premise to Ash Princess is intriguing, but the reality fell flat for me. I didn't finish this book. I only read about 50 pages and realized I had no emotional investment in anything. The writing and language left me feeling detached. Her name is ridiculoous and her thought process is defining her every emotion and motivation, which makes for repetitive, dry reading. The magic system of her people is very typical and the word "spiritgems" just makes me cringe. All of the background information is dumped in the narrative without integrating it into the story and it takes a while.

The point that I put down the novel was when the evil king forces Theo to kill a rebel who turns out to be her own father. This passage held no emotional impact for me. It's too early and not enough is known about the main character for this to occur so soon. Also, the plot in general feels too close to Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi, which is already one of my favorite books of the year. Ash Princess simply pales in comparison in terms of prose and world building. They share many of the same themes and it's unfortunate that they are coming out so close together. Ash Princess wasn't for me.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

Women in Horror Mini-Reviews: Honeymoon (2015) and A Dark Song (2016)

* Honeymoon (2015)

* spoilers *

Jorge watches his neighbor Isabel as she jogs by every day for weeks, learning her routine and overhearing her conversations with other people. One day, he abducts her off the street to keep her in his house with a room, clothes, drugs, and restraints specifically for this purpose. He sets rules for her behavior which of course she doesn't follow. The punishments include a beating, acid in the mouth, degloving her fingers, and so much worse. He officiates a wedding between them even though she's already married and strangles her until she says yes. Jorge is the epitome of toxic masculinity. He's in love with the idea of this woman and felt entitled to her. Once she was there, Isabel is not as expected and he tries to mold her into an obedient wife.

I felt that this film was pretty lackluster. We don't know the characters very well before anything happens and they don't really progress at all. It makes the film feel hollow and especially exploitative when Jorge's treatment of Isabel is shown often in extreme close up. The plot also isn't very original and the twists and turns fell flat in my opinion. Isabel's husband paid Jorge to kill Isabel in order to collect the life insurance money. It just makes the only men in the film garbage, but considering what's constantly in the news, it isn't very surprising. The ending has Isabel kidnapping men and doing the same to them. It wasn't very clear why and I find it hard to accept when the experience was so traumatic for her. The film as a whole is uncomfortable to watch with no real reason behind it.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

* A Dark Song (2016)

Sophia is grieving for her son and commits to casting a spell so she can speak to him. She rents a house for year and hires Soloman, a brash man who insists he knows the ritual she needs. He has a long list of demands from a huge amount of money to forcing her to cook and clean for them with no help. Both characters are frustrating in different ways. Sophia is constantly lying about her life and what the spell is for when it matters to the success of the ritual. Soloman, on the other hand, treats Sophia terribly, constantly screaming at her and calling into question the veracity of the enture ritual. Perhaps he's only exploiting her for whatever he can get. This is particularly called into question in the scene where he fools her into stripping for what he says is a spell, but turns out to be his own sexual gratification. Soloman is insufferable, abusive, and hard to watch.

The actual ritual requires complete commitment and it's a gruelling, harrowing experience. Sophia has to go days without eating or drinking in addition to the purification beforehand with no sex, drinking, or eating at night. Everything also has to be precise and correct, sometimes forcing them to redo parts of the ritual many times. Magic is blood , sweat, and tears more than anything and Sophia is willing to do it all. After a while, Sophia is understandably frustrated that nothing is happening until something small happens. The magic is in subtle things that happen, gold flecks in the air and the smell of flowers. Even with these signs, Once Sophia is alone, the horror elements come in creatures that flood the house. However, unlike most horror films, the beautiful ending is full of grace and redemption. A Dark Song has elements I don't like and some that don't work, but it's a unique film with a different point of view of magic.

My rating: 2.5/5 fishmuffins

Halloween Movie Mini-Reviews: Patchwork and Hell House LLC

* Patchwork

* spoilers *

Three women are attacked, killed, and combined to make a Frankenstein's monster-esque reanimated creature. They wake up disoriented and uncoordinated. After excaping their captors, they cooperate to figure out who did this to them and how they can go back to being three normal women. The three women couldn't be more different. Jennifer is abrasive and inconsiderate. Her boyfriend is cheating on his wife and won't give her the time of day, but she's successful in her job. Ellie is desperate for validation and will put up with so much abuse and disdain just for attention. Madeleine has a lot to hide as a serial killer.

Patchwork has a fresh, wacky concept and three fairly sympathetic protagonists. The story isn't linear and begins with  mad scientist attempting to bring the three women in one to life with a glowing syringe right out of The Re-animator. After this fails and he gives up, the women wake up and escape, trying to figure out what to do. As the action moves forward, it flashes back to get to know each of the girls and then what actually happened leading up to their creation. The way the three women communicate inside their shared head is shown by them as they used to look sitting in a room. It's starkly contrasted with how they actually look, limbs going in different directions and  twitching awkwardly. The look of them is as you would think: different skin tones and hair color put together with livid scars. The women decide to get revenge on whoever combined them and the people who have wronged them, including Jennifer's cheating boyfriend, Ellie's exploitative frat boys, and the lab workers they saw when they awakened.

Patchwork has some crazy ideas. However, some things weren't as successful as the first half of the film. A romance is forced and weird with all three women not being super into that random guy. The ending gets a bit weird. While I liked the revelation about Madeleine's involvement in the surgery, the confrontation with the mad scientist went a bit too silly even for this story, especially with the painfully bad owlcat hybrid. It's still a fun ride and worth your time if you're looking for something new.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffins

* Hell House LLC

The Hellhouse Haunt has been succesfully delivering scares for years until 2009 when 15 people die, patrons are panicked, and the public still doesn't have specific answers about what happened. Answers from authorities are vague or intentionally misleading. A documentary crew tries to solve the mystery by interviewing survivors of the night and piecing together what happens. When a member of the Hell House crew produces tapes of everything, the truth will be revealed.

Hell House LLC is a found footage movie that combines first hand videos, interviews, and footage of the documentary investigation to tell the story of this haunt gone wrong. The company refurbished a dilapidated hotel in Abaddon, New York where terrible things are runored to have happened like suicide and satanic cults. Things seem to be going fine until weird things start happening: unexplained noises, objects moved by themselves, crew members sleepwalking, and other phenomena. The events increase in severity while the owner of the company refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong. The scares are subtle and well built, affecting each member of the team.

I found the film lacking in quite a few places. First, it seems to take quite a bit from The Houses October Built, which was executed better. They had unlikeable characters with  some redeeming qualities. These characters didn't. Second, I do not believe for a second that whatever money earned from the event is enough to risk the lives of the entire cast and crew. Third, the scares didn't ramp up enough at the end. They stayed subtle even while people were dying and it didn't seem real enough. The ending is a bit predictable and cheesy. I would probably watch a second movie, but I had too many problems with it to enter it in my yearly Halloween rotation.

My rating: 2.5/5 fishmuffins

Horror Movie Mini-Reviews: The Collector and The Collection

* The Collector

Arkin O'Brien is desperate to pay off his debts to protect his ex-wife and daughter from loan sharks. So he's forced to do one last heist with his lockpicking and breaking and entering expertise,  posing as a handiman to a rich family. The house has a huge, expensive ruby that will solve all his problems, but coincidentally, a masked killer with elaborate traps attacks the house on the same night of the heist. The killer doesn't factor in the thief to his plans. Can Arkin save the family and escape with his life?

The Collector is a fun, bloody slasher with traps similar to Jigsaw's in Saw without the faux morality reasoning. The only developed character is Arkin. We see his past and his relatable reasoning for his thievery. He's the most clever and catches on to the killer's ways the fastest. The rich family aren't portrayed as deeply and mostly act as fodder for the unique kills which aren't to be underestimated. The Collector is the best part of the film with his twisted mask, reflective eyes, and ominous silent presence. Nothing is known about him at all. It's even more effective that he could be anyone. His methodology is cruel. He captures someone from the previous kill and traps them in a red trunk. The opening of that trunk activates the horrific traps for the new kill, leading to the mental torture and probable death of the survivor who knows what's in store for the new targets and can't help them. There's honestly not much to this film beyond interesting kills, gore, and a tense cat and mouse game. It does fall into typical horror tropes a little more than I would like. However, The Collector is fun and unexpected, which is more than I can say for a lot of the more mainstream franchises that keep pumping out the same dreck year after year.

My rating: 3.5/5 fishmuffins

* The Collection

Elena Peters and her friends go to a party in a fashionable secret, underground club while The Collector continues to kill indescriminantly. The Collector coincidentally targets the club and kills all the clubgoers except Elena, who is trapped in the red trunk, and Arkin, who escapes from that trunk and out into the night. Elena is taken to the Collector's layer and Arkin goes to the hospital, where the police make a deal with him to lead them to the lair to save Elena. Arkin agrees only to lead them there, but they threaten him to continue inside to a madman's labyrinthine layer, full of victims, bodies, traps, and his collection.

The Collection is a huge improvement to The Collector that keeps the first films innovative kills and unpredictable nature. It breaks out of a lot of the tropes it held in the first film. The beginning news montage shows the extent of the Collector's killings with hundreds of victims with no connection whatsoever and numerous people still missing. The people are terrified, but it doesn't stop teens from being teens. The mass club kill scene is one of my favorite in any horror film because it's over the top, impressive, and a little funny. Instead of the film taking place in one building like the first, it bucks tradition and takes it right to the Collector's doorstep. His place is a labyrinth of insanity and horror with a dash of culture. We get to see how he lives his day to day life torturing people, creating his works of art, and completing his collection in an almost banal way. His artwork is depraved and macabre, comprised of rearranged human bones, limbs, and skin in different combinations. He has people tortured so extremely that they either resemble animals more than humans to protect his home or are devoted to him over any sort of self preservation. Parts of his lair resemble a conventional collector's extensive collection with art, books, and animals, living and dead.

Arkin and the police team have to navigate the Collector's territory where anything could be a trap. Although the public places and house he rigs are impressive, it's nothing compared to his own home where he has had years to cultivate his traps. The police officers are mostly paper thin characters that are fodder for the traps and the Collector's creations. Arkin and Elena are the only characters to root for unless you prefer the enigmatic menace of the Collector. I'm curious about him because he's obviously educated with his knowledge of entymology and biology, but also knows how to fight when needed. It's smart to leave him mysterious, but I wouldn't hate it if they explored his life more. The ending is unexpected, but I wish more movies had been made. The formula lends itself to a variety of innovative kills, a deep rivalry between the hero and villain, and the decent writing to go at least a couple more movies. This series is so underappreciated and it's definitely worth your time.  

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins

Book Mini-Reviews: The Killing Lesson and Blood Rose Rebellion

* The Killing Lessons

Valerie Hart is investigating a series of murders where young women are tortured, raped, murdered, and then have an object placed in their bodies. The murders have been going on for years and Valerie isn't even close to any real leads which is wearing on her physically and psychologically. While going through footage of the zoo, she sees someone suspicious which sets off a chain of events that puts her hot on the murderers' tail when another woman has just been kidnapped. Will she save the woman in time or will she be too late yet again?

The Killing Lessons is a murder mystery thriller that has a dark and twisty protagonist, a disturbing killer, and some unexpected twists and turns. Valerie isn't what your typical female hero with her excessive drinking, obsessive nature, and tragic backstory. I appreciated her drive to do whatever she can even at the expense of her health and career. I found her backstory where she pushed her boyfriend away and made sure he caught her in the midst of cheating on him hard to relate to. I did like their relationship where they absolutely know the other person practically down to their thoughts. The killer has interesting motivation and a bizarre childhood of abuse. I found his methods deplorable, but kind of underwhelming as an actual character. The twists appear in the latest victim who has a few unexpected tricks to try to get free that I know I wouldn't have the awareness to even think of let alone carry out.

I didn't like that everything is spelled out for you instead of connecting any of the dots yourself. I also didn't like the weird rivalry between Valerie and a new cop Carla. It screams that Valerie isn't "like other women" as if she's somehow above others of her gender. However, she rises to Carla's bait far too often which hurts her credibility. Carla's reasoning for attacking Valerie and almost destroying her career is motivated by her love for the man who loves Valerie, which is so stereotypical. She also spouted misogynistic sentiments and made Valerie look amazing in comparison. The pacing is a bit too slow and each subplot is perhaps a little too detailed, but overall, it was a read that got me through my flight to Texas. I'll be reading the second book hoping for some improvements.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffinsa

* Blood Rose Rebellion

In a world where the elite and privileged are magic users, poor teenaged Anna Arden is left out in the cold. She never developed any magical powers, barring her from much of the rich society she grew up in. Few if any suitors will ask for her hand, leaving her future looking pretty desolate. When she effectively ruins her sister's coming out magic demonstration and party, all eyes are on her, including those of the council that effectively rules all of England. What will the future hold for Anna?

I did not finish this book, which is rare for me. It did have some interesting aspects, but once I hit page 50, I didn't see any need to go on. The world's magic system is interesting with only the rich and powerful even being allowed access to magic due to a spell called the Binding. There are four types of spellcasters: elementalists manipulate nonliving elements and light, coremancers read and influence thoughts and emotions, animanti influence living things perhaps talking to animals or healing, and lucifera shape forces such as gravity and electricity. My confusing is that animant seems to be to close to coremancers considering people being living, but I didn't read far enough the differentiate the two more.

My main problem with the novel is Anna and her love interest Frederick. First, Frederick is obviously stringing her along and kissing her in secret while courting her sister in a more public way. In addition, he's incredibly condescending, treating her like she's stupid. How is he attractive in the least? Anna seems to be fine with this, convinced that he will choose her eventually. The kisses are discovered when Anna lies about who got her into the party she ruined and the council views the events through magic. Of course Anna is pretty much ruined even more than not having any magic, but she only cares about losing Frederick. I just can't support a character who acts so stupid and puts her infatuation for a boy above concern for her own life and future. I don't recommend the book based on what I read.

My rating: 1/5 fishmuffins

Horror Movie Mini-Reviews: Personal Shopper and Splinter

* Personal Shopper

Maureen mourns for her twin brother's recent death and returns to the place where he died in Paris. She's convinced that he will give her a sign of the afterlife (if there is one) as they promised. Her living expenses are paid for by being a personal shopper for Kyra, a moody and demanding fashion model. I had high hopes for this one because I thought it would be a film that never actually shows anything supernatural and deals more with her grief. I was wrong and it was also very boring. Kirsten Stewart sighs and mopes through the whole thing with her signature expression. A CGI ghost shows up to terrorize Maureen at her brother's house, which didn't look convincing and didn't seem to actually mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

The most interesting part of the film is when Maureen receives text messages from an unknown person, daring to her to do things she's afraid to do and pushing her boundaries. It's never revealed who this person is, but the implications expand when she finds her boss murdered. Nothing in the story really seems to connect with anything else. I started to like Maureen as she tried on her boss's clothes, but then she went way too far with it and lost me. The ending has a very cool moment that goes largely unnoticed by the characters, but proves to be rather anticlimactic. Personal Shopper is an incredibly boring film with some moments of brilliance and lots of wasted potential. Long stretches of time felt like nothing was going on at all. It's visually striking and Stewart is adept at moping, but it felt like a dull waste of time.

My rating: 1.5/5 fishmuffins

* Splinter

Two very different couples collide in a remote gas station. Seth and Polly are a young, sweet, affluent couple out for a romantic camping trip. On the other hand, Lacey and Dennis are out to rob people to feed Lacey's drug addiction and continue to flee from the law. Lacey and Dennis hold Seth and Polly hostage, but are forced to stop at the gas station where a mysterious creature infects the attendent. The two couples have to work together if they want to survive despite their differences. I wasn't expecting a lot from Splinter, but it was surprisingly decent. At first I was annoyed because Dennis was such a chauvinist idiot, but he was nicely balanced by Seth and Polly plus his obvious care for Lacey. Seth is not stereotypically manly or physically strong while Polly is very physically capable and knows much more about mechanics. I enjoyed the contrast of one couple portraying conventional gender roles while other breaks them. Polly and Dennis often clash, but work together weirdly well when everything goes to hell. All of the characters do whatever they have to in order to help each other escape.

The splinter here is an unknown parasite that grows rapidly in organic matter. Even the slightest bit of it can eventually take over a whole person in a matter of hours. If infected, death is definite and it's only a matter of time until that person attacks the rest. It doesn't attack like a zombie, but does whatever it can to impale its spikes on more organic matter. The way this thing makes living or dead bodies move is eerie and unique as bodies weren't meant to do that, even combining multiples together for a bigger organism with many more spikes. It hunts by sensing body heat and (of course) has one fatal flaw. The effects for the spikes and the performances of the infected were superb. The start of the movie seemed to stereotypical and dumb, but by the time the splinter showed up, I was hooked. The body horror elements made me so happy and everything from the arrival at the gas station on was incredibly suspenseful. Our unlikely heroes came up with surprisingly intelligent ways to try to contact the outside world, combat the creature, and escape. Splinter delivered a creepy body horror seige film that is definitely worth your time.

My rating: 4.5/5 fishmuffins

Horror Movie Mini-Reviews: Beyond the Gates and Sun Choke

* Beyond the Gates

Estranged brothers Gordon and John reunite to pack up their father's store after his disappearance. The reunion is awkward and they don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. They really couldn't be more different as Gordon is a straight laced business man and John is a slob always in between jobs. They find a VCR board game called Beyond the Gates and it has much higher stakes than they expected.

Beyond the Gates is a love letter to VHS horror and it's a fun film to watch. The game operates like a horror version of Jumanji where their tasks in the game have very real (and often extremely and delightfully gory) consequences. Gordon, his girlfriend Margot, and John have to finish the game to save Gordon and John's father's soul or have their own souls trapped within the game for eternity. They have to find four keys to travel beyond the gates and then return safely. Barbara Crampton is equal parts creepy and magnetic as the host of the show Evelyn who eerily follows their movements from the TV and responds only when they've done what she has asked of them. Everything she says has gravitas, but is over the top as well like any good horror host.

Gordon and John get to know each other better through the course of this game despite traumatic events. Gordon's back story is particularly interesting because he's decided to tamp down all his flaws and appear perfect because of his own shortcomings. It comes out that he hurt Margot when he was drunk and then he decided to become the uptight, repressed person we see at the beginning of the film. I found his character the most interesting because of his need to appear perfect. John was incredibly annoying and was just a slacker with horrible friends. Their journey through the game was nostalgic and fun, but not without legitimate danger. Overall, Beyond the Gates is a fun throwback film.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffins

* Sun Choke

Something is wrong with Janie. She is under constant surveillance by her caretaker Irma and barraged by a constant stream of psychological tests, yoga, pills, and calm but firm directions. When Janie can leave the house, she stalks Savannah, a beautiful woman. Sun Choke is an interesting film that doesn't give a lot of firm answers. At first, it's unclear why Janie, as an adult, is being imprisoned and controlled so harshly. Over the course of the film, Janie exhibits obsessive traits and seizure-like symptoms. On one hand, I felt for her because of Irma's oppressive craziness, but she shows some pretty serious signs that would justify her being imprisoned.

Sarah Hagan's performance as Janie is amazing. Despite some of her behavior, she stays a sympathetic character for most of the film. She seems to be just as in the dark as the audience. Irmia implies the cycle of behavior we see in the film from obediant and child-like to violent and rebellious has happened before, who knows how many times. Barbara Crampton is equally magnetic as manipulative Irma. She seems to be caring and calm, but her streak of cruelty runs deep. Janie has no privacy and follows a rigid routine every day, whether she likes it or not. Many of her methods, espcially when Janie misbehaves, are torturous and painful. I don't need everything spelled out for me, but I have a ton of questions about this whole situation that will never be answer. Janie and Irma's relationship is the most interesting thing about the film, but the story gets distracted by a subplot.

During Janie's rebellious actions, she becomes obsessed with a woman named Savannah, following her everywhere, entering her home, and wanting to be her. While it supports the first plot because Janie wants more independence and apparently would rather be someone else, this plot takes over too much by the end. While the ending is tense, it borders more on torture porn than the psychological film it was leading up to it. Sun Choke is an interesting film, but the ending doesn't match the rest of the film. I'm more interested in character studies of Janie and Irma as well as the toxic nature of their relationship.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

Horror Movie Mini-Reviews: Intruders and Army of Darkness

* Intruders

Anna takes care of her dying brother in her childhood home. She hasn't left it in years and suffers from acute agoraphobia. When her brother dies, she remains at home much to the disappointment of a group of men set on robbing her. This film had been on my watch list for a while and it didn't disappoint. Intruders has a lot in common with Don't Breathe. Home invasion films are fairly formulaic and both change it up by making the supposed victim into the aggressor in different ways.

Anna at first is meek. She couldn't escape if she wanted to because of the debilitating effects of her agoraphobia. In her panic (and other reasons that become clear later in the film), she doesn't call the police. The three men think she's easy to subdue and terrorize, but she proves to be more than they can handle. The best part of this film is that, unlike Don't Breathe, it's hard to pick a side. At the beginning of the film, it's clear that she is an innocent victim. The men are cruel, misogynistic, and disgusting. They don't get any better throughout the film. Revelations come out about Anna and you feel sympathy towards the men even though they are abhorrent. Both sides are painted in shades of grey with compelling points on either side.

One thing annoyed me. Anna isn't very physically strong. She's good at hiding and attacking in other ways. For some reason, she kept attacking the men that are much larger, stronger, and faster than her and always got her ass handed to her. Why try it multiple times? Get a weapon. Do something sneakier. Other than that, the story goes into some of the most unexpectedly depraved places. I couldn't predict where the story was going to go. If you're tired of the same old home invasion films, definitely give this a try.

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins


* Army of Darkness

Ash Williams was sucked into a portal at the end of Evil Dead II. Army of Darkness shows that he was dumped into the Middle Ages afflicted by Deadites. With his trusty boomstick and chainsaw hand, he kicks ass, takes names, and kills Deadites. Unfortunately, he's still Ash, so he fucks some stuff up, raising an army of the dead. Will he stay and fight or will he abandon the others in their time of need?

Army of Darkness is my favorite of the Evil Dead trilogy. It may be more comedy than horror, but it's entertaining as hell. The beginning recaps the previous film and I find it hilarious that in each film, Ash's girlfriend is played by a different actress. Ash shines in this film with his usual bravado, arrogance, and carelessness. How he proves himself to the people holding him captive is epic. He battles a Deadite in a water filled bit, using his chainsaw hand and boomstick, then basically enslaves the natives. Setting out to get rid of the Deadite scourge in exchange for passage home, he predictably fucks it all up due to his own arrogance. The army of the dead is amazing with many practical effects and puppets. I love the skeleton playing a bone like a flute when marching to the fight. The final war is awesome and way over the top with explosions, flying Deadites, and Ash's Deadite twin leading the enemy.

Some scenes were a little too slapstick for me like the scene with the tiny Ashes. The horror elements aren't as central as in previous movies, but it's still enjoyable. The ending begs the question why Ash would want to return to his time in the first place. He's a lowly S-Mart worker where everyone thinks he's a bombastic liar and a bore. You'd think he'd love being waited on hand and foot, but he also hates expending effort. I guess we wouldn't have Ash vs. Evil Dead then. This is mandatory viewing if you watch the show. Army of Darkness is a fun action filled horror comedy.

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins

Women in Horror Mini-Reviews: Over Your Dead Body and Honeymoon

spoilers to follow...

* Over Your Dead Body

A famous actress Miyuki Goto is the lead in a new play based on the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. She pulls some strings to get her lover Kosuke Hasegawa, a relatively unknown actor, as the main male lead. When the film starts, it's clear that Kosuke is losing interest and sleeping with other women. He's presumably keeping up the charade to keep his role in the play, which is a sad story about a lazy, lying samurai who kills a woman's father to marry her, gets her pregnant, and then continues to be lazy and unsatisfied with married life with little money. A rich young girl wants to marry him and he poisons his wife and squalling, who then haunt him. In real life, their lives reflect the play (without the murder and the child) with some added weirdness.

I went into the film with no expectations and it's an interesting quasi-ghost story with typical Miike twistedness and flair. The visuals in the film, especially the parts at the play, are absolutely gorgeous with a Miike edge. I liked exploring both sides of the story in the play and outside of it. The story in the play is quite tragic and at times brutal to watch. I would have loved to see the play because it had excellent production value and incredibly detailed backgrounds on a giant rotating stage.The samurai character is abusive to his wife and those scenes are hard to watch, especially while the wife agrees that everything is her fault and she should be better.

Outside of the play, Miyuki knows something is amiss with her relationship and she spends most of her time at home alone, waiting for Kosuke to come home. I wanted to like Miyuki, but she completely revolved around Kosuke. After a while, she was convinced she was pregnant with his child (I guess to trap him into staying?) and she wanted to induce labor in one of the most stomach turning ways possible, especially since it was concretely confirmed that she wasn't pregnant in the first place. Almost all of the female characters revolve around this one horrible man. It made those women into flat, stock characters with no other motivations or goals. Overall, Over Your Dead Body is another creepy addition to Miike's ouvre, but most of the characters are quite flat. There were also some loose ends and missed opportunities that could have made the film even creepier.

My rating: 2.5/5 fishmuffins

* Honeymoon

Bea and Paul just had their dream wedding and are having their honeymoon in a rustic cabin out in the forest. All is happy, smiles, and sex in the beginning as they can't keep their hands off each other and they settle into married life. Weirdness starts to happen when they run into an old friend of Bea's who runs a diner and threatens them before he knows who he is. Bea starts acting strangely, especially at night. She sleepwalks, develops some sort of sores on her inner thigh that she's secretive about, and forgets significant events in their lives. Why is she changing so rapidly?

Honeymoon taps into a visceral fear that so many men and women have: marrying someone they don't know or losing their identity after marriage. At first, everything is fine. The couple has sex constantly as newlyweds do and romance is in the air. Then things go south quickly. Bea starts literally losing herself. She has to write down basic things about herself like her name, where she lives, and who her husband is. With women changing their names and giving up a literal part of their identity, it's a concern when marriage is involved that other things may follow. Bea mentions having children as if she thinks it's required rather than really wanting them. Judging by Paul's reaction, they hadn't really talked about it before, which is troubling to find out after the marriage.

Paul isn't exempt from weird changes. The minute they run into Bea's old friend, he gets possessive, distrustful, and paranoid, a complete turnaround from how he was at the beginning. Everything is suspect. He snoops through Bea's things and seems to think he's entitled to know everything about her. Unfortunately, the film is a bit one sided. Paul isn't viewed as extremely as Bea is (who literally loses her memory and starts mutating into something else). The most creepy scene is very similar to the "inducement" in Over Your Dead Body, but with an added creature involved. It has do with Paul's fear of becoming a father and transforming her vagina from a pleasurable to a frightening experience. I get the meaning behind it, but I can't help but resent this part of the plot. Women are constantly being told how their bodies are deficient in some way without the added creature feature or men's anxiety about it. I just don't have sympathy for Paul and his fear of his wife's nonsexual vaginal functions. Sorry, but childbirth is a natural function of vaginas. Plus I have no sympathy for him if he didn't even bother asking that important question before marrying her. The plot is really light, but it's very unsettling. I wish more could have been shown from Bea's perspective of the marriage. It felt like she was being demonized while Paul's erratic, controlling behavior was supposed to be understandable.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffins

Random Movie Mini-Reviews!

I've been watching a lot of movies lately, especially recent releases. Here goes!

1) San Andreas

The Rock abandons his post as a firefighter and goes on a quest to save his family. First of all, this is supremely horrible, What kind of firefighter just leaves his post when people obviously need him? Plus he committed a whole bunch of crimes on his "noble" quest to save his family. Typical disaster movie stuff happens that would never happen in real life: LA is destroyed, buildings collapse, and a giant tidal wave comes in. It cracks me up that when I went to Wondercon last year, the director bragged about having a seismologist on staff. Apparently they ignored every single thing they said because it wouldn't look cool in a movie. Someone almost dies. Tearjerky stuff happens. Impossible and improbable maneuvers actually work. Even the seismologists assistants are improbably attractive. It's a solid disaster movie that's about as badly written as all other disaster movies. It's entertaining if you don't think too much about it. The only thing that really bothered me was how they went out of their way to make the childless stepdad look like the hugest douche in the world.

My rating: 6/10 fishmuffins

2) Annabelle

Idyllic couple buys creepy doll then get attacked by creepy, suicidal cult member who dies. Then her creepy spirit possessed said creepy doll and terrorizes them. I really hated The Conjuring, but I thought maybe Annabelle would be better. It is slightly better, but considering how low of an opinion I have of the first film, that's not saying very much. Annabelle is mostly boring. It relies way too much on jump scares to fuel the suspense and it's not very effective. The only really cool part is completely ruined because the filmmakers weren't ballsy enough to actually have the woman's baby be harmed. Like The Conjuring, there is really no reason for this film to be rated R. Not a lot of violence, a little bit of blood, no adult language. At this point, I guess it's just a ploy for people to think this movie is scary when it really isn't. The creepiest thing is the appearance of the doll. I will not be subjecting myself to any more Conjuring films.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffins

3) Jurassic World

It's just like Jurassic Park, but with an engineered dinosaur wreaking havoc. Jurassic World is an enjoyable action movie with lots of dinosaurs, exciting chases, and Chris Pratt. The visual effects are pretty good, but the original film used more practical effects that still looked a little better than the majority of the new dinosaurs. The film is funny, suspenseful, and just plain summer fun. The only annoying part is the treatment of Claire, the busy, childless park director. She runs around the whole film in high heels and is the poster girl for the uptight business woman trope. Considering how the female characters have been treated in the past, this is disappointing. Her assistant also experiences the most horrific death in the film for pretty much no reason. Other than that, I got to watch hunky Chris Pratt whisper to raptors and fight a cool, brand new dinosaur. The ending is a little too deus ex machina, but still enjoyable. Another fun film that doesn't require too much brain power.

My rating: 8/10 fishmuffins

Halloween Watch-a-Thon Mini Reviews 2

1) Gone Girl (2014)

Amy Dunne is missing. No one knows if she's dead or just gone. Nick Dunne, her husband, makes bad decision after bad decision and looks extremely guilty to almost everyone around him. Rosamund Pike and Ben Affleck are excellent portraying their flawed and mostly unlikable characters. David Fincher gives the film a suspenseful, icy, and precise style. The plot is deliciously insane and it's a near perfect adaptation from pages to screen. The foreboding builds up throughout the film and it's almost impossible to guess what will happen next (if you haven't already read the book). The only two parts lacking were the casting of Neil Patrick Harris (just no creepy enough) and the fact that Amy's personality came off super icy when she did have some humor in her own way. The rest is simply amazing. I had already read the book, but seeing my sister cover her face and hearing her gasp "oh my god" over and over was priceless. Highly recommended.

My rating: 4.5/5 fishmuffins

2) All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

There's something wrong with the cheerleaders. They actually died and were brought back to life by wicca Leena. Now, they need to feed on people to live, are connected magically, and are much tougher than usual. The football players that contributed to their deaths resolve to get rid of them once and for all. The first half hour of the film was so filled vapid and annoying characters that I struggled to continue. Once the cheerleaders die and come back, it gets more fun and a bit cheesy. The football players are appallingly misogynistic and make very on dimensional villains. The plot relies way too much on gimmicks and tropes while at the same time trying to unsuccessfully make fun of those same gimmicks and tropes. The acting isn't great and I didn't care much about any of the characters. This is one to watch a bloodbath and turn your mind off. It also stops in the middle of a scene and then lets the viewer know it's only the first part. I would continue the series if I was really bored and had nothing else to watch.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

3) Resolution (2012)

Michael finds his friend Chris after receiving a video of him. Chris has become a junkie, so Michael handcuffs him to the wall in the house where he stays to forcibly get him clean. Weird things start happening like finding a book full of creepy campfire stories and film slides purposefully left for him to find. The movie as a whole is ok. It starts off a bit slow. Besides the sense of unease, it seems like a drama about a guy just wanting to get his friend clean in a well meaning, but creepy way. Most of the threats are normal: the real owners of the house showing up and Chris's junkie friends demanding drugs and threatening them. The clues around seem peripheral to the main plot up until the crazy ending. It all culminates in an unexpected way and it's impressive.

My rating: 3/5 fishmuffins

4) Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

Vampires Adam and Eve have been together for hundreds of years. They opt to live in obscurity with the things they love and create art separately. Adam is a musician living in Detroit and creates music he doesn't want people to hear. He's tired of existence and contemplates suicide. Eve is a bibliophile and lives in Tangiers, but reunites with Adam when she hears of his despair. They are blissful until Eve's wild little sister comes to visit. This film is a slow, languid tale of vampires in love after centuries together. This isn't teenybopper Twilight love, but love solidly built and sustained. The acting and cinematography are superb and I could watch Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston all day. They capture these characters so well that could have easily been run of the mill hipster, but are reflective and contemplative people whose love they can rely on. Music plays a big role and the soundtrack is amazing. Not a whole lot happens and what does happen does so slowly, but it's not a negative.

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins