The Hazel Wood

Alice and her mother Ella have always been on the road. Bad luck follows them everywhere and it wasn't uncommon to take off on short notice, in the middle of the night. This has been her life ever since she can remember until the grandmother she never met Althea, a reclusive and little known fantasy author. Ella suddenly settles down and marries a wealthy man. Months into the marriage, it's clear that divorce is on the horizon. Alice comes home one night to find the apartment empty with a weird smell. Her stepsister and violent stepfather eventually return, driving her from her home, but Ella stays missing. Alice goes to Ellerey, one of her few friends, for help and vows to find her mother.

The Hazel Wood combines the real world and a dark, dangerous fairy tale world populated by nuanced, realistic characters and frightening fantastical characters alike. Alice isn't afraid to tell harsh truths to people and comes off as abrasive. Her anger skates below the surface of her facade and it comes out at times. It's understandable since no one but her mother stays in her life for any extended period of time. Even the people she's with every day never get very close. Once she and Ellerey commence their search, strange things start to happen. Alice sometimes responds to these unexplainable events in irrational, dangerous ways. I was disturbed to see that so many readers didn't like Alice when so many abusive young men whose actions are much worse are revered as attractive and romantic. Women and girls are still looked down upon for having unbecoming emotions.

The story takes a while to venture into fantasy and horror. At first, Althea's dark fairy tales from the Hinterland are told to Alice by Ellerey, including Twice Killed Katherine who avenges her own death by draining the life out of men. Althea's novel is mysteriously absent with no library copies or digital copies and very rare physical copies. The two worlds overlap when Alice sees Katherine in real life. She and Ellerey find a way to the Hazel Wood, Althea's estate, but have to overcome trials to enter the actual Hinterland that has been bleeding into the real world through her stories. These tales are so unlike our traditional ones. There are no set rules (safe one), no morality, and no judgment. The only one in power is the story spinner and the characters must cycle through their stories over and over to keep the Hinterland existing. It's much different than any other fantasy novel I've read.

The Hazel Wood takes horrific fairy tales and blends them with the real world. There are grave consequences for tangling with fairy tale creatures and happily ever after doesn't really exist. Melissa Albert creates such an interesting world with unexpected traits and keeps the reader mesmerized with her masterful writing. The story wasn't predictable at all and I was eager to meet every twist and turn. I'm especially happy that the typical romance was subverted and chnaged in the end. I couldn't stop reading this book and I had to know how it ended.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

Halloween Mini-Reviews: WNUF Halloween Special and Ghostwatch

Both of these films have similar themes and execution perfect for the Halloween season.

* WNUF Halloween Special

* spoilers *

The WNUF Halloween Special replicates what it was like to tape shows off TV in the 80's. There aren't any beginning or ending credits. The aspect ratio is that of an older TV. Tracking and static are all over the place. The commercials are the high energy, colorful monstrosities. One series of commercials shows a escalating Senate smear campaign between  The news program is full of transitional puns, over the top banter, and cutesy local stories. One of the stories is pretty serious as a soldier with PTSD shot and killed a trick or treater a year ago. All of it was created in 2013. The way the 80's is perfectly captured amazed me. It was like stepping into my childhood.

The special itself involves a reporter from WNUF going to a supposedly haunted house along with his camera crew (actually filming live) and a "psychic" couple similar to the Warren's with their helpful kitty Shadow. A crowd surrounds the front of the house in costume, hoping to see something creepy. The house was the place of a gruesome murder by a disturbed boy years ago. Mysterious things happen in the house including unexplained sounds, a smashed EVP recorder, and the poor kitty being killed. The story takes quite a turn from being Halloween fun to an actual threat emerging in the house, revealing the manufactured parts of the broadcast in the process.

I absolutely love the ending. Throughout the movie, signs of the bullshit Satanic panic in calls and protests from Christian extremists called HARVEST, stating that Halloween is evil and people who celebrate it will go to hell. I was afraid that it would end in some sort of Satanic ritual, but the filmmakers turn it around. Those same Christians the ones who brutally murder everyone in the house. It's a way to acknowledge that the Satanic panic was a huge travesty that had no truth to it at all. So many innocent people were blamed for awful things because of the music they listened to or the way they dressed or just because of general hysteria. The ending is perfect and I will watch this movie every Halloween.

My rating: 4.5/5 fishmuffins

* Ghostwatch

* spoilers *

Ghostwatch is a BBC news broadcast trying to find out if ghosts are real. A news crew headed by Sarah Greene visits a family claimed to be terrorized by a ghosts including objects moving, strange sounds, temperature changes, disembodied voices, and unexplained scratches on one of the daughters. The story is clearly inspired from the Enfield haunting as both stories share many of the same details. This family is in dire straits and you can't help but feel for this single mom and her two daughters. The apparition is seen several times during the broadcast. lurking along the edges. I personally didn't see many of them since I watched it on a pretty small screen. The sordid history of the house is revealed throughout the special and two sinister figures emerge as antagonists.

Inside the studio, Michael Parkinson interviews Doctor Pascoe about the supernatural and explanations of the events going on at the house. They also take calls from the public to share their brushes with ghosts and the unexplained. The ending, like WNUF Halloween Special, is pretty bleak with the apparition seemingly escaping to the outside world in the viewers' homes and possessing the Michael Parkinson. It's amazing that this film was shown as if it were a live show with familiar faces of British news and children's TV. This method gives the public the most pause in believing the broadcast because these are the faces of people they see on TV every day. The public wasn't happy about being lied to plus some extreme cases ended in death or PTSD.

Filmed in 1992, this pre-dates found footage and ghost hunter style TV and establishes tropes that will become popular in both genres. I enjoyed the film especially how it starts as poking fun at the notion that the supernatural exists and ending with an outlandish notion of a country wide seance allowing the malevolent spirits into the outside world. It was only every aired once, but I'm surprised I never heard of it before. Ghostwatch is a bit like a modern day War of the Worlds and a film that warrants rewatching numerous times.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

Halloween Mini-Reviews Classic Edition: Dracula (1931) and The Phantom of the Opera (1943)

* Dracula

Renfield goes to Transylvania as a financial advisor and leaves it in the thrall of Count Dracula, a bloodthirsty vampire. Together, they move to London so Dracula has access to a fresh crop of victims. As the first horror talkie, the film has large swathes of silence that give the film suspense and tension helped along with the deliberate closeups. Bela Lugosi plays both the charming socialite Dracula pretends to be and the powerful, inhuman creature he actually is. This is the first movie to portray vampires as seductive and show them as blending into human society. Lugosi uses his skill as a silent movie actor to make his body language effective. His mesmerizing eyes hold the camera's gaze with a small strip of light over them to show his mental power over people. His hands and movements are almost otherworldly.

Instead of Jonathan, Renfield is the person who takes us through the story and has the most pathos. His physical and emotional change from before being under Dracula's thrall and after is stark. Before, he's a professional, neat, confident financial advisor. Afterwards, his hair is in disarray. His eyes bulge crazily and he bares his teeth in an insane smile. He alternates between being completely devoted to Dracula and struggling to help Dr. Van Helsing and his daughter. Jonathan Harker in contrast is an oblivious idiot who has an overinflated sense of importance. I don't sympathize with him at all. The only problems with the film are in Dracula's nature and censorship. Dracula isn't conflicted or anything which makes him a much flatter character than all the other Universal monsters. Because of the Hayes Code, showing any sort of vampire attack and Dracula's death was banned. It unfortunately takes a lot away from the sense of danger and the impact of the ending.

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins

* The Phantom of the Opera (1943)

Erique Claudine is fired from the Paris Opera orchestra due to the deadened nature of the fingers in his left hand. While the Opera paid well, he spent his savings on voice lessons for Christine Dubois, a talented but overlooked singer. When he thinks his music is stolen, he kills the offending man and has acid thrown in his face. Erique's madness has claimed him as he terrorizes the Paris Opera, making demands and doling out fatal consequences for noncompliance.

This version of The Phantom of the Opera is my personal cinematic favorite because of the humor, the lush sets, and the extended opera scenes. These things are largely seen as ruining the horror, but it's an odd story that is never adapted faithfully. This film fits in well with the Universal formula with its sympathetic villain. Erique Claudine can't catch a break. His life is falling apart due to failing health with his piano concerto being his last effort to keep out of poverty. There is injustice in someone stealing his music, but murder is where the sympathy stops. He lives under the opera house, stealing things so he can help Christine and intimidate the managers and the police. The actual music he creates is beautiful, believable as a folk song and lullaby, and the only original music performed in the movie.

Christine, on the other was hand, works hard at her craft and courts Anatole, a leading baritone in the opera, and Raoul, a policeman. Stuck in the chorus line, she aspires to star in the opera and acts as understudy for Carlotta. Both men comically snipe at each other while they garner her affection. This was probably done to fill the void of the Phantom, Raoul, Christine love triangle that wasn't done here because of the Phantom's age and his more paternal affection towards her. The opera takes on a different type of drama when Carlotta is first poisoned and then killed. The police respond by not complying with the Phantom's demands to bait him into caputre, but instead he responds with a large scale attack. The offstage drama and high stakes contrast with the beautiful operatic moments. The composer takes familiar themes from Tchaikovsky and Chopin and creates original opera music and scenes.

The Phantom of the Opera is light on horror and heavy on personal drama, but it captures the grandeur and scale of the opera with amazing music and performances. The comedic elements are well placed. The love triangle ends satisfyingly with Christine chosing her career and the adoration of the public over the affection of the either man. It's a well made film that will always be my favorite of the Universal horror films.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

The Grip of It

Julie and James are looking to relocate due to James' financial ruin and gambling problem. They find the perfect inexpensive yet large house, perfect to start over in. It's too good to be true because weird things start happening in their house and increase in severity as times go on until their lives are completely disrupted. What is causing their problems: a nosy neighbor, a ghostly presence in their house, or just them?

The Grip of It is a suspenseful novel that has elements of a haunted house but never defines what's wrong. Julie and James are a young couple reeling from James' bad decisions and struggling to trust each other. That initial fissure in their relationship makes them quick to turn on each other when things go wrong. The weird events start with a strange sound with no apparent cause. They search around for the source to no avail. Bruises appear on Julie's body more and more often, looking deep and severe with no apparent cause. The couple sees children playing in the trees that no one else can see. A terrible smell fills their home and any water from the faucets no matter how clear it looks will fill their mouths with green mold. One day, they wake up with childish drawings all of their wall and both of them denying having done it. Both disbelieve each other and attempt to go one with their day to day life.

Threats come from outside as well in an odd, elderly neigbor who watches them from his window constantly and then lets himself into their home despite rebuffing their efforts to be friendly. When they are on the cusp of calling the police due to his home invasion, he disappears. The police eventually look at the couple with suspicion for their conflict with him as well as their failure to disclose earlier problems at their home. James doesn't help things by staying home from work for weeks on end without letting anyone know and gets fired. He tries to research the history of the house and does reveal that their neighbor used to live there with his family with a tragic death and a dark secret. Sometimes when he discovers something like a hidden room with a cot obviously lived in, he seems to forget it the next day and does  nothing about it.

The Grip of It ramps up to a fever pitch and then ends perfectly. No revelation come out and the reason behind all the craziness is never defined. No psychic comes in to tell them what's wrong and they have no idea how to fix it. I believe it's a combination of the supernatural and their real life conflicts that were never resolved from before their move. The story is told in alternative points of view between Julie and James, highlighting their distrust of and frustration with each other. Although it doesn't really resolve, it feels like it doesn't have to. I enjoyed the journey through this story.

My rating: 4/5 fishmuffins

Halloween Movie Mini-Reviews: Noroi the Curse and Jigsaw

* Noroi the Curse

This is a documentary style found footage movie about a paranormal expert named Kobayashi who disappeared after investigating a curse for his new documentary. His home was also burned down and his wife died in the fire. The film takes us through Kobayashi's journey delving into the mystery surrounding this curse that involves a quiet little boy, his offputting mother, and psychics.

Noroi the Curse is an insane movie. It has the tension and tone of The Wailing with the form of Lake Mungo. The pace is slow and deliberate, but I was on the edge of my seat for the whole thing. Kobayashi's uncertain fate and what happened to his home and wife is revealed at the beginning of the movie and then his incomplete documentary is shown. It starts with a small incident of a woman complaining of hearing odd sounds from her neighbor. The neighbor in question verbally attacks him and a small boy lives with her. However, the sounds are from babies when there aren't any babies there. The plot thickens when the neighbor moves away and the woman and her daughter die in a car crash right afterwards.

Kobayashi is dedicated to unravel this mystery and I was with him every step of the way. He, Hori (a seemingly crazy man), and Marika (a clairvoyant actress) serve as our envoys into this supernatural world beneath our own and make separate discoveries that create the full picture. The journey to discovering what is at the core of everything isn't simple. There are a lot of people involved and the plot weaves a complex web that delves into more depraved territory than expected. Noroi the Curse is much different than a lot of Japanese horror and takes a more subtle approach. The atmosphere is well built and maintained throughout. I highly recommend this unique film and it's a crime that it hasn't had a US release.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

* Jigsaw

An elaborate game of death has been started and a team of medical examiners and police are trying to find out where it is before all the people die. This is another Saw movie complete with beyond shallow characters, a convoluted twist that falls apart under mild scrutiny, and mildy interesting deaths. The characters are all so badly acted that two of them may as well be interchangeable with exactly the same gruff demeanor and misogynistic comments. It killed me that the women they were talking to simply accepted the condescending treatment even in a crazy death game. Ugh. The cast feels small because somehow the suspects only include the people investigating the murders. The main suspect is Eleanor, a woman fascinated with Jigsaw and a collector of his past devices. Her whole look is one big nerd stereotype and drastically changes after her obsession is revealed.

So many things are logistical nightmares that fall apart if thought about with any focus. Like why would Jigsaw's grave be left open unattended for any time to be tampered with? Why does everyone assume in almost every movie that Jigsaw is back? Why isn't Dr. Gordon brought in at all after the final reveal in the last Saw movie? The kills are decent and the traps are ok. If the series is going to move forward, I wish they would focus more on fun, creative kills than pseudo-intelligent, convoluted twists. If you go in expecting a typical ridiculous Saw movie, you won't be disappointed. If you're expecting an actually good, coherent movie, you will be disappointed.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

Halloween Short Films: Light as a Feather and Sam

Bite sized Halloween treats!

* Light as a Feather



This short film captures the feel of good kid horror like Are You Afraid of the Dark? or Goosebumps. A group of girls have a sleepover and one tells a theatrical story of being abducted by ghosts if awake between 1am and 2am. The suspense is well crafted and it's a perfect bite sized ghost story for all ages. It's also unique production wise in that the actors and the above the line credits from director to writer to composer are all women.

* Sam Short Films

These short films were made for FearNet commercials to advertise the 24 hour Trick 'r Treat marathon. They capture the darkness and whimsy of Sam all year round especially with the sinister yet childish music.

~ Back to School



Sam gets ready for school and reacts to some rude kids.

~ Easter Candy



Sam tries his hand at being the Easter bunny. This one is pretty over the top and silly, but it's enjoyable.

~ Snowmen


Sam helps a friend build a macabre snowman and looks adorable in snow clothes.

~ Father's Day



This one is the sweetest of the bunch and only a little odd.

~ The Day After Halloween



This one shows the mess after Halloween and reveals Sam's life cycle.

~ Making a Friend



Sam helps a friend literally make a friend in an adorable homage to Frankenstein.

Final Girls

Quincy Carpenter survived a horrific attack right out of a slasher movie that left her the sole survivor. Her college friends were all brutally murderered. It’s no surprise that the media labeled her a final girl along with two other women who survived similar experiences. When One of the final girls Lisa is found dead and her apparent suicide labeled a murder upon closer scrutiny, Quincy is under a media microscope. Sam, the other final girl who isolated herself, comes out of hiding to connect with Quincy, creating a media frenzy, but Sam seems to half ulterior motives for being there.

Final Girls was one of my most anticipated books of the year and it proved to be a mixed bag of a book. I love the concept of the book. The author takes references and situation from slasher films and amalgamated them into the three final girl situations. Each woman deals with the aftermath of their trauma differently. Quincy tries to throw herself into normalcy, denying that her horrific experience had any effect on her at all. She’s about to marry a sweet man who works as a district attorney and works as a baking blogger who makes perfect cutesy treats. Underneath it all, she’s still rages, has blackouts, keeps people at arms’ length, suffers from depression and loneliness, and buries it all under her normalcy shield, Xanax, and wine. Sam crashes into her life and wants Quincy be to admit her anger. Sam is messy, abrasive, and most likely homeless, but she processes her past in a way Quincy refuses to. Lisa was my favorite final girl because she saw her situation as an opportunity to help other people through the darkest moment in their lives.

What follows in the book is frustrating from character actions to the way the twist is handled to the writing. Sam coaxes Quincy into playing vigilante in Central Park in the middle of the night. Not only is it incredibly stupid and dangerous, but it also takes up way too much of the book. I found it a waste of time in the book and it didn’t end up being very significant. It only served to give Sam power over Lisa. The twist at the end is unnecessarily spoon fed to the reader. The overall way of writing really bothered me because of the horrible characterizations of women and so much wrong information about them. Quincy wants everyone to read her mind and give her exactly what she wants without communicating. Of course she doesn't truly love her nice guy boyfriend because "women don't like nice guys." Sam ruins everything she touches. All are horrible female stereotypes. Small things bothered me as well like the author having absolutely no idea how bras work and claiming that true crime blogs are ran only by men because they have the time to waste??? The ID channel, Lifetime, the huge success of My Favorite Murder and podcasts like it, and all the female true crime enthusiasts would like a word with you.

Final Girls is probably the biggest let down of the year for me. I had heard such positive things, but it didn't live up to any of them. The protagonist made the most horrible decisions and the vigilante subplot just became the plot for most of the book. The obviously male author made so many generalizations about women and had no knowledge about things he should have looked up or asked about. Now I know not to read any books by Todd Ritter, the actual author of the book.

My rating: 1.5/5 fishmuffins