Holiday Horror: Treevenge

Treevenge from jasoneisener on Vimeo.

I stumbled onto the short film Treevenge and I thought it would be awful. It kind of is, but in the most awesome way possible. The theme from Cannibal Holocausts start the film, which is a nice reference. It features sentient trees that can talk to each other, but not to humans. At first, they are living in a beautiful forest with not a care in the world until savage humans come in and rip them from their habitat. One even tramples a sapling. In the truck, the trees are lamenting their fate, bashing against the walls, and crying.

The process of preparing them for sale and weeding out the ones not fit for selling split them apart is sad and tears them away from their saplings. The trees speak in hilarious little squeaky voices with subtitles letting us know what they say. Everything the humans do looks brutal, over the top, and cruel even though the actions are fairly mundane. The tree lot is so loud with hundreds upon hundreds of trees frantically speaking, giving it an entirely different vibe than we experience in reality. The people who work are the worst ever, treating the trees terribly and cursing at them and each other.

The Treevenge comes when the trees have had enough and attack people on Christmas. The film follows a few different groups of people and their weird, dysfuctional relationships and Christmas traditions. The catalyst is a live new coverage of lighting up a giant Christmas tree with over the top lights and fireworks. It's the last straw for these poor tortured creatures and the resulting carnage is impressive. Some trees go for the direct kill while others go for pets first. One tree kills an amorous couple by threading branches through their faces and forcing them to kiss. They even kill a child for revenge of their own young. The ending is amazing with blood straining the pristine snow while people are still fighting against their Christmas trees in the streets.

I laughed so much during this film. I loved the blood, gore, humor, interesting kills, and low budget charm. I will definitely watch this every Christmas season. It's only 16 minutes long, so give it a watch. If you like over the top, irreverent, comedic horror, this is definitely for you. It reminds of the scene in Metalocalypse when the Dethklok members muse about how metal Christmas trees really are.

My rating: 4.5/5

Holiday Horror 2016

Merry Christmas, Krampusnacht, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Saturnalia, or whatever celebration you observe! Here on Fishmuffins of Doom, this is the start of the Twelve Days of Holiday Horror. Follow me on a journey of wonder to films that merge the wonderful aspects of this season like snow, Santa, and family with murder, mayhem, and gore. If you'd like to see any specific film covered, please leave a comment below and I will try to cover it either this year or next year. Other than that, enjoy my Twelve Days of Holiday Horror.

Holiday Horror: NOS4A2

Victoria AKA Vic McQueen has a secret. She has a talent for finding missing things, but she'll never tell any how she does it. Her Raleigh Tuff Burner bike takes her onto a covered bridge to wherever the missing object is and then the bridge disappears when she's done with it. This power takes a physical toll on her if she uses it too much. Charles Manx has an interesting power too. He rides around in a 1938 Rolls Royce with the vanity plate NOS4A2, abducting children he views to be in distress, killing their parents, and taking them to Christmasland, his supposedly idyllic child haven. The reality is much more sinister. Vic runs into him one day when looking for trouble and their encounter changes both of their lives: Vic goes down a road of addiction and self abuse while Manx is in a coma for a number of years. One day, Manx comes out of his coma and plans to target Vic's son. Vic is the only person who can stop him if she can get out of her downward spiral and denial of her power.

I enjoy Joe Hill's writing, but much like his father, he tends to end his books in an unsatisfying way. This book is the exception and I hope a growing trend. NOS4A2 is excellent from start to finish. I read it over the course of a few months and I always knew exactly where I was and what was happening. The fantasy and horror aspects are fresh and make sense within the worldbuilding. The few people in the novel with some sort of power have an object that is needed in order to use it. Vic has her bike and later a motorcycle. Manx has his Rolls Royce and Vic's friend Maggie has her Scrabble tiles. All of their abilities have a different focus, Vic's being the ability to transport to and find whatever she thinks of and Maggie's being precognition. Their powers aren't just free to use; it takes a physical toll on them. These women met as innocent children and both turned to substance abuse and other self destructive behaviors. Based on the effects, brain damage and deteriorating mental health are also symptoms of extended use. One way this is portrayed besides Vic's physical reaction is in the condition of her covered bridge. When she was young, the bridge was brand new, like any bridge in good repair. When she grew up, it was in extreme disrepair with rotten boards and bats everywhere. It's a gamble if she'll even make it to the other side.

The horror aspects are particularly on point. Charles Manx is one of the creepiest villains ever. He is similar to Nosferatu in appearance: pale, protuding teeth, bald, undead looking. He rides around in his vintage Rolls Royce "saving" unhappy children from their horrible parents and taking them to Christmasland, a land of happiness, decadence, and neverending fun. This may sound like he's a saint, but that's what he wants you to think. Some of the children are from legitimately terrible households, but some of them are not. Manx's minion dispatches the parents and uses the mothers for his own sick pleasure, leaving Manx free to whisk the child away in his car. It's no ordinary car. In addition to being an exceptionally beautiful car, it also follows Manx's whims, whether it's constantly playing Christmas music through its speakers, driving itself, making the back seat seem interminable, or giving the inhabitants presents. Their final destination is Christmasland, but on the way there, the goal is for the children to lose their humanity under Manx's tutelage. Once the child gets there, it's a playground of carnage with many other inhuman playmates where the adults are prey. Christmasland is a disgusting parody of a child's ideal Christmas and it's one of the most chilling places I've read about. Manx is convinced he's doing the best for his children and uses manipulation, drugs, and magic to get the children on his side.

NOS4A2 is Joe Hill's best book yet. The characters, the worldbuilding, and the story are memorable. The human drama and fantastical horror elements are perfectly balanced to create a novel that's both incredibly creepy and touching at the same time. I hope a sequel is in the works because the ending leaves just a little bit open for one. I had no idea until now that there was a graphic novel miniseries called Wraith that ties into the story, which I will definitely check out. Sometime in the future, AMC is supposed to release a miniseries and I can't wait. I hope Christmasland is as horrific as I imagine it. I will read whatever Joe Hill writes next because I was always engaged by his writing, but this novel follows through with an amazing ending.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

Holiday Horror: Krampus the Yule Lord

Jesse is a loser. He lives alone in a trailer playing his guitar for drunks on the weekends with $4 to his name. It's Christmas and he can't even buy his daughter presents. He was off to drink himself into a stupor or kill himself when he saw the weirdest thing he's ever witnessed in his life: little devil people fighting Santa Claus on his sleigh complete with flying reindeer. Jesse can't believe his eyes, but he doesn't hesitate to take the big red Santa sack that they left behind that produces any toy he can think of. He thinks he's found the solution to all of his problems, but both Santa Claus and the leader of these devils wants the sack back.

Krampus has been awfully popular lately. Krampus festivals are gaining popularity and the recent years have had an explosion of films about him. This is the best Krampus story I've seen thus far. Krampus in this story is the Yule Lord, not a demon or devil. He descended from Loki and is one of the last of the old gods. Yule is the pagan celebration the rebirth of the sun and the beginning of winter. Krampus was widely worshiped by people in the past with revels and shoes full of treats. The wicked were put in sacks and beaten with switches. In the 1400s, a friend of Krampus' previously imprisoned in Hel decided to imprison him, dress as St. Nicholas, and hijack his holiday for a new age. Krampus' image with his horns and imposing figure along with his iconography was then repurposed to create Satan, a fitting villain for Santa and Christianity in general. Krampus finally frees himself after being imprisoned for centuries and seeks to take his holiday back as well as punish the man responsible who betrayed him and their family. I love how Brom interweaves Norse mythology, pagan practices, and the rise of Christianity to create his story. The pagan origins of some modern traditions like Christmas trees and mistletoe are also particularly interesting. Although Krampus is a mercurial and inhuman god, I felt for him and wanted him to take back his holiday.

The other main plotline is Jesse and his whole sad situation. He brings a more human element to the fantastical story and gives us someone to identify with. His family is estranged and his wife wants a divorce, but he's convinced they can make it work somehow. This hopeless man without prospects or drive has a big load of crazy dropped right into his lap. Krampus enlists his help in exchange for revenge against a corrupt sheriff currently dating his wife and the crime boss who associates with him. Jesse truly grows over the course of the novel. Through his adlines and ventures and insights from Krampus and his Belsnickels, Jesse completes his hero's journey and comes out the other side stronger and with definite hope for the future. He also finds the drive to see if he can make something of a music career after years of stagnation. The ending isn't all roses and butterflies, but a little bittersweet.

Krampus the Yule Lord offers a different perspective of this ancient figure than is usually seen in the media. It also offers explanations on why he fell out of favor, how his image was transformed into something evil, and why he's gaining popularity today. The story has momentum and goes unexpected places. I was invested in both stories and the ending was satisfying and complex. The book starts each chapter with a black and white illustration of a scene in the novel. Each of them is incredibly detailed and in Brom's signature style. My only disappointment is that they all weren't in color like the insides of the book cover and the drawings in the middle. I plan to read another Brom book The Child Thief, a retelling of Peter Pan, and I'm confident it will be just as amazing.

My rating: 5/5 fishmuffins

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to wish all of you guys a very Merry Christmas!!!

I first saw this picture on io9.com and I thought it was super cute and disturbing. :) It's a brilliant piece by Rob Sheridan. If you're interested in the artist's work, you can visit his site here.