Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Holiday Horror: Jack Frost (1997)

Prolific serial killer Jack Frost killed over thirty people in eleven different states before being apprehended. He was on the way to execution when the police truck collided with a genetic research truck (like that's a thing). The accident and chemicals somehow made him melt and fuse with the snow. Jack Frost terrorizes the city of Snowmonton as a killer snowman, leaving bodies in his wake.

Jack Frost is one of the worst movies I've seen with terrible puppets, the worst fake snow, and the most dismal acting. The movie starts with an awful squeaky voiceover that sounds like an weathered adult trying to imitate a child. Cut to the police truck and the most comically filmed car accident I've ever seen. Somehow fire, chemicals, and a criminal makes him fuse to water which will become snow which becomes a killer snowman...Sure. The killer snowman has mitten hands that can launch deadly icicles and the ability to transform between water and snowman at will.

The fact that this serial killer's name is Jack Frost before anything even happens is both ridiculous and not apparent at the beginning of the movie. It seems like Sam, the sheriff of Snowmonton who took Jack down, has an irrational fear of Jack Frost, the personification of winter. For a town called Snowmonton, there is literally no snow in the town. It's all either ice on the ground and felt cut into vaguely icicle and other snow shapes, which the camera is unfortunately too focused on. The snowmen all seem to be made up of shaving cream and coconut.

The death scenes are predictably ridiculous, awkward, and ignore any sort of logic. Shannon Elizabeth's death in particular made me cringe as Jack mashed her against the shower wall while she was naked. Other deaths were more silly and ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, apparently the reason for his transformation is the soul as a chemical and his only weakness is antifreeze, discovered by Sam's son trying to murder him with antifreeze in his breakfast oatmeal. So of course they fill a whole truck bed with antifreeze (even though most of it will uselessly sloosh out onto the floor) to defeat the killer snowman terrorizing their town.

Jack Frost is a movie that you watch with drinking with your friends and shouting things at the screen. The Final Girls Horrorcast had a fantastic livestream with some of their listeners watching the movie. If you're expecting an awful movie, Jack Frost is a lot of fun with ridiculous kills, terrible writing, slapdash sets, and dismal acting.

My rating: 2/5 fishmuffins

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